OMG I have 4 kids!!!

Wow! Life just keeps moving. Now I'm a mother of 4! It seems so crazy that I have 4 kids. I never dreamed I'd have one not to long ago. Now I have nights when I would be happy to just poop alone for once. I often wonder if I'm a good mom. I don't have to be great but I definitely want to be a good one. I think back on the times each  day that I got annoyed or lost my mommy cool and try to recall what triggered my blood pressure to go up and I meditate on it. Every night I do this. I always want to remind myself why I became a mother, how much I wanted a large family.  It helps me improve myself everyday. And I listen to other mothers and I take their advice to heart. I want my children to grow up strong and independent but I also want them to be loved and know they are loved.
This is how I know I'm a good mother. I am willing to grow and learn for them, together. I count my blessings every single day for each and every one of them. They are such little miracles. I never thought I could ever love anything so much. Yes I'm bossy and over protective at times but what mom isn't? MamaBear is just doing her thing, right?
We all make mistakes as parents but it's important to learn and grow from them.
For example, we had dinner with my husband's family this evening to celebrate Harper's birthday. Lars had asked me for a second cupcake and I told him to wait until we got home. He waited until we got home and reminded me of my promise right away. But a promise is a promise so he got his cupcake. Now I'm paying for it because I think this kid is definitely on a sugar high! It's 10pm and as he puts it, "not tired mom" as I'm trying to get him to go to bed.
In that example I was annoyed b/c he was right. I made a promise and he knows I always keep my promises. So he got his cupcake and I got my wild child. But I also learned that this little guy is getting super smart and he knows how to get what he wants. Next time I'm definitely going to have to watch the clock before I promise extra cupcakes! He probably had a few at the party that I didn't see! I could go on but I'm very tired... Peace out!